What’s Your Excuse?

Every now and then our path in life blends, even if only for a short while, with the path of a few extraordinary individuals, which inspire us, and we keep in our mind forever. Today I was lucky enough to meet such a person, in the most unexpected place of all, at the gym.

Usually, the gym is the place where only a small percentage of the people subscribing are actually dedicated to working out, while the majority spend their time chatting, clicking pictures for various social networks, or sitting down complaining about how bad their muscles hurt, after the first 5 minutes of training. However, today I saw the most dedicated person working out, which got me thinking about my actions, and the actions of those around me.

A young man, with Down Syndrome, pushing against the mobility impairment, a problematic ankle, and very poor eyesight, got on the treadmill, completely dedicated to finishing his workout. Later on, he moved from one equipment to the other, not giving up, until he got the job done. To my surprise, he did a better job than most of us there!

I was so impressed and proud to see him going for what he wants, ignoring the physical limitations, and working together with his body, as a team, to become stronger.

Success-InspirationMy mind couldn’t help but think about those of us, who are lucky enough to be in good health, capable of pretty much any challenge, who choose to not go for what we want, who don’t step out of their comfort zone, who find excuses.

It’s always easier to say: ‘I can’t do that‘, instead of saying: ‘I don’t want to do that‘. Subconsciously, when someone can’t do something, we look at them with different eyes, than we look at a person who doesn’t want to do the same thing. Honesty is being punished, because the excuses are more powerful to the brain.

This is why we choose to say we can’t, sometimes even without trying, and we make excuses for ourselves. The excuses are so powerfully embedded into our brains, to such an extent, that our mind shifts into that powerful negative state, which determines you to fail. Telling yourself that it won’t happen, convincing yourself that you can’t do it, it will make it not happen.

And so, we make excuses for ourselves, we say no, we fail. We fail to get out of our comfort zone, we fail to try, we push away any chance to succeed, when actually, we only have to break the mental barriers we set ourselves.

And we see people who have to fight through physical and mental limitations, dreaming the dream, setting the goal, going out there, fight with themselves and the world, and achieving what they want. Their road to success is 10 times harder than the same road a healthy person has to take, and even so, they don’t quit. Why? Because they don’t have room for excuses. They don’t let limitations put them down, but they work with those limitations, and get where they have to go. Now, how powerful is that?

I believe such persons should be an inspiration for all of us, and their amazing journeys should make us realize WE CAN DO IT. There’s no such thing as ‘I can’t’, there’s only ‘I don’t want to’.

The biggest barrier between you and success, is yourself. Always yourself, no one and nothing else. Nothing can stop a determined person to reach the goal. Success, is in the end, only a state of mind. Our minds are such powerful tools that if we set them to ‘I can’t‘ or ‘I can‘, in the end, that’s going to be the outcome, so tell yourself as often as needed: ‘I CAN‘. If you want it, you can do it! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it! Want it, dream it, do it!

What’s Your Excuse?


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Why do we like to complicate our lives?

Watching my dog sleep today, really got me thinking. She looked so at ease, and comfortable, that I had to wonder why can’t humans be that happy in their own skin.

Sometimes, it just seems to me like we love to complicate our lives. We look everyday for more and more ways in which we make ourselves feel like we belong, like we fit a certain pattern. We don’t feel comfortable unless we achieve this goal. But, why do we have be like others? Why not just be ourselves?

This behavior starts very early in the life of a person. Ever since we’re kids we aim to be the cool ones in school, to have the nicest toys and games. Later in life, we want to have a perfect body and the most expensive clothes, cars, houses. It seems like our toys just get bigger with age.

944326In modern society, you have to meet all those conditions, in order to have a certain status. Media, through television and magazines, program our brains to follow a path in order to be considered successful in life. If we can’t reach it, we use social media to project into the world a perfect image of a perfect life we live, when behind closed doors, things are much different.

We seem to be willing to do pretty much anything to get to that level. People get themselves in debt in order to maintain the appearance of that status. Some get loans to buy things they don’t really need, just to be like others, and show that they can have a certain lifestyle as well. But what if you can’t? Is it so important to alter the quality of your life, in long term, just to impress others?

Media pollutes the brains of teenagers, by publishing modified images of perfect bodies which don’t really exist. This guided society in a place where ‘normal’ is putting on a mask, before going out in the world. We use make up, lotions, creams, expensive clothes and painful heels, covering our skin in chemicals, in order to achieve the ultimate beauty goal, dictated by the lies published in the right places.

What strikes me most is the use of medicine out of pure vanity, and altering our bodies just to fit in the patterns dictated by the new type of society. Some people put themselves through so much unnecessary pain and in the end, you have to ask yourself, for who you do all of this? Oh, yes, you do it for yourself. Is the outside going to change who you really are inside? The ‘wrapper’ is going to get old and wrinkly anyway. Is it worth the pain and falseness? Wouldn’t it be so much better if we would just act and look natural?

20120704-141109Why can’t we be sincere about our feelings and emotions? Why always hide what’s really going on inside us? What are we trying to prove and to who? It seems like we live in a world where we encourage and promote everything that’s fake, and discourage what’s sincere and natural.

The real value of each and single one of us comes from what makes us unique. Who would want to live in a place where we are all the same, and pretend to be something we are not? Some act so well, even they forget who they really are.

What a world would be, if we would all quit imitating and just be ourselves…

When it doesn’t float your boat…

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Maybe I was a different type of teenager, but to be honest, when I finished high school I had no idea what to do next. What made the choice even harder is that with the right amount of work and dedication, I could be good at pretty much anything. Putting so much passion into what I do, got me from one field to another, in just a few years, confusing me even further about what I really want to do in life.

After getting my first paid office job (previously I worked as a volunteer for almost 1 year), I was extremely excited to finally earn my own money, learn new things and meet new people. I was lucky enough to start working in a multicultural company, which gave me the opportunity to improve my language skills, interact with people from different backgrounds and cultures, and broaden my horizon. Even if I was a bit disappointed with myself for not getting a job in the fields for which I studied for (I first started learning programming-since 5th grade, then I went to Law School and got my degree which offered me the amazing opportunity to work for an NGO and finally UNHCR), I was very happy, and didn’t doubt my choice.

The problem with working in such a company is that while increasing the number of employees(which more than doubled since I got hired) the company turned from friendly, to ‘Romanian’. When you put the power to run the company into the hands of locals, the company’s culture goes very fast from foreigner to national, which means a dramatic change in vision(the change happened in approximately 1 year after I got hired). Different managers, different teams, different rules. For me, this meant not enjoying the same rights as other colleagues did, and being constantly brought down about my work performance.

Working in such an stressful environment for about 1 year, brings your spirit down and kills your enthusiasm and motivation. The question is…. What do you do?

The solution I’ve found

Being intellectually active since as long as I can remember, I really constantly feel the need of a challenge, of gaining other skills and applying my knowledge. After thinking about what I can do to keep this up, I turned back to computer programming, my first passion. For months, I’ve studied after work, on my own, but without any concrete results. The high level of stress, combined with lack of time, didn’t get me that far, but I never gave up. In the end, even a bit of progress is better than no progress!

The questions which were always on my mind: When do you take the plunge? When is the right moment to switch jobs? When are you ready?
The answer: You are never ready, and you will never be ready if you keep on waiting for things to happen.

So, about 2 weeks ago, I’ve decided to go after life, instead of waiting for life to come to me.

The decision making

At the beginning of the company, this would have been a very hard decision for me: to quit the job I’ve worked so hard to get. Even when it got difficult and stressful, I’ve postponed this moment for as much as I could, thinking about what will the company do without me, how will my colleagues manage without me(silly thinking process). Also, I had no idea how to do it, even if it sounds stupid. I felt like I was putting the company into a difficult position and also showing them that I am not loyal. One day though, my boss made it easier for me, saying ‘no one is irreplaceable’. A mix of these words and the constant stress factor made me realize I am doing it wrong. Being 25 and wasting time on a consuming job, isn’t the right way to go about life. I am loyal, but I shouldn’t allow someone to constantly take advantage of this. Loyalty is great, as long as it’s directed towards the right persons, which wasn’t the case anymore.

The right moment for anything is NOW!

But what if NOW is the moment in which you are left without an income, and a fat chance that you won’t make it into the field you want to switch to? Well….what other better moment to find out, if not now? Investing more time into something which doesn’t bring out the best in you, which doesn’t help you grow, and evolve and become someone better than you are today, it’s simply just time wasted. You might lose an income, but you might gain something bigger than that: peace, balance, time, yourself. Once you are at peace, you can focus on your real passions, and improving your skills will become so much easier than it was when being in a stressful environment. This will get you to the point where you grow, improve and, most likely, earn more than you did before. In the end, our most precious possession is our TIME. This is something we won’t ever have more of, only less, and you can’t buy it, at any cost.

Even if the new career won’t earn you more money than the previous one, I wonder if it’s all about the money. Stress is such a huge factor in your mental and physical health, that we end up working to earn more money, to get loans, to live a lifestyle we can’t really afford, to get even more stressed because of the financial issues, to alter our health, and to work more or get more loans to fix out health.

I’m sure it has to be a better way to manage my time. So, keeping this in mind, I went ahead and quit my job. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very happy I had this job. This experience taught me so much, much about what I shouldn’t do if I ever have so much power in my hands. Also I’ve learned a lot about myself. Being in an office 8 hours/day or more, with the same people, all with different worldviews, with different problems and mentalities, for months and months, gives you a chance to see them at the highest and at the lowest moments of their life. For some persons, the lowest moments, bring out the ‘best’ in them, and this got me to realize a lot of times, that’s not how I want to be like. Many times, such experiences were like a mirror, in which I got to see all my faults, and realize where I go wrong in the relations with my friends and family. This helped me very much with changing things about myself, which I’m very thankful for, and also proud.

Getting ready for the career

With a whole new way of seeing things, a new set of skills(still work in progress), and a brand new attitude, I get ready for the future. Before quitting my job, I was full of doubts and fear. Now I am confident, positive and excited! In my head, sky is not the limit. Not even close. I can conquer the sky and more, through programming…This is what I really want! I want to be able to not only tell the computer what to do for me, but also to show it how to do it.

After going through the basics of HTML, CSS, JAVASCRIPT, JQUERY, PHP, MYSQL, I’ve realized I want to do big things. Being so creative, I want to do more than just programming. I want to combine all my skills, passion and creativity and turn them into a new career. For now, the possibilities are endless. With the support of my friends and family, I will start something new, something amazing.

If I will succeed or not…I guess it’s just a matter of time until we’ll find out. All I can hope for, is to not waste my most precious resource: TIME, on anything else, but what really makes me happy. With a lot of work, dedication and a lot enthusiasm, there’s no room for failure.

Keep your fingers cross for me!