The Curse of Everything

Human mind is a beautiful place. Complex, busy, influenced by the environment and experiences.

We constantly evolve, ever since the moment we’re born. With every new sound, color, word, picture in our mind, something changes inside us. We begin learning to like and dislike things around us, at a very young age. The more exposure, the more we alter our path in life, our likes and dislikes, and dreams and aspirations. Most of the time, we don’t know what we want, but our experiences taught us what we don’t want.

As children, ever since we can remember, we’re asked by many people the same question: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?‘. That question sets our minds free. The answer has no limitations, the only limitation is human mind. So we think about it, and we come up with ambitious dreams. We want to be astronauts, firefighters, superheros, princesses, scientists, doctors, police officers, and many others. Our innocent souls, dictate our path in life, and ration doesn’t have much to say in it. Influenced by animations, love, and goodwill, we seek to be happy, regardless of the form it takes.

“Passion is the difference between having a job or having a career.”

With age, we’re slowly guided towards the slot in society we should occupy. Exposure makes us forget or ignore what our previous goal was: to be happy. Once school becomes a major part of our lives, things complicate, we become more job focused, getting lost in the illusion that what builds a career aren’t actually dreams and passion, but solid knowledge.

The more people we meet, the meanness of the persons around us, the cruel society, the situations we’re confronted with, alter the way we see the world around us, our dreams and desires. And our worldview changes. Our ambitious dreams are replaced by heavy thinking and struggling to occupy that position dictated by society. We go back and forward between choosing the right career path. And most of us find it. Influenced by the school subjects, material gain, people around us, we feel like we finally fit in that slot, and we work towards making our dream come true.

Hard work pays off and we become good at something. Our entire lives are shaped around us becoming something when we grow up. And for most of us, it works.

It’s really easy to choose to ‘become something’, if you know you’re good at one thing, and you feel like you can only do that, at a level which makes you happy and turns you into a skilled professional. It’s easy when you know you will get a job.

But what if you still don’t know the answer to ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?‘. What if you are passionate by many things? What if you just can’t choose? What if you’re that ‘annoying’ type of person which can do pretty much anything the mind is set to do, and can’t settle for a job? What if you change your mind every few months, and your heart defines ‘career’ in a totally different way? What if you just have no plan to ‘become something’ once you’re done with your education, in comparison with all your other colleagues?

Being multi-talented, training your mind easily to switch from one field to the other, might seem like a blessing. However, you realize soon enough that you are not like others around you, you don’t know how to do just one thing, but you can be anything you set your mind to. Even if we are trained to believe we need to find that ‘job’, and fill in that empty slot in society, for a person like you, it’s almost impossible.

Doing almost anything, can become a curse. It’s never easy to mix different skills from art, writing, technology, love for animals and environment, people, to a personal life, into ONE career path. You can’t be everything but you can’t be without everything. And then you face the curse of everything, with makes it almost impossible to choose.

So, what do you do? How do you find out the right path for you? Is there such a thing? Can you focus on one thing only? Can we be happy with being less than we want to be?

In the crazy race for a career, money and a future, we must not leave our heart behind. Once we try to remove a part of us, from our future, we soon realize we lose our happiness. For people with so many passions and interests, the only way to live a happy life is to not leave any passion un-nurtured. Our artistic side is always waiting to come to surface, our compassionate side is present in all our actions, and all our skills combine and become a lifestyle. We can’t just NOT do what makes us happy, unless we amputate a part of our soul.

“Doing what you like is freedom.

Liking what you do is happiness.”

When it comes to a career path, we tend to choose from our passions and skills, the ones which have the potential to bring the most income. However, long term, income is not enough. Think about removing all monetary benefits, setting all career options right in front of you, and picture what would you do, if you could choose from anything, and all would pay the same. Would it still be the career you had in mind before? Making a career from your passion, feels like you never go to work, not even for one day. Wouldn’t that be beautiful, to be so free? That’s true happiness!

When life gets busy and complicated, we immediately remove the time allocated for what really feeds our soul. However, the crazier life becomes and the less time we have, the more time we should invest in our true passions. We should never forget that nurturing our heart is as important as feeding our body. Losing ourselves in the process of building a future, takes us to an empty space, where sunshine can’t reach. Can fortunes feed an empty soul?

“In Order to Succeed, Your Desire for Success Should Be Greater than Your Fear of Failure.”

– Bill Cosby

Passions … there is no right and wrong. The right choice is the one which makes us happy, and we shouldn’t settle for anything less. Our hearts and minds need peace, and once we take the time to listen, we’ll choose our true path in life. We’ll just know it, as we’ll give 110% in anything we do, and it won’t ever feel like a job, but it will feel like freedom. It will feel like happiness.

Remember we’re not meant to fit in that slot society created for us. Taking the time to find out what really makes us happy, nurturing our passions even in the busiest times, our desire to succeed, and a positive attitude, will put us on the right track to a career and fulfillment, and keep us away from getting stuck with an unsatisfying and time consuming job.


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How It’s Supposed To Feel

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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Painting fairy tales and windmills

I’m no expert when it comes to feelings and how love works, and I don’t think I’ll ever be (also, I don’t aim to be one), but like all of us, I do know how it feels like to be happy or miserable next to someone. With more and more people in the wrong relationship, I had to step back and think about how it’s supposed to feel, when it’s really right. Even if is never perfect, it should always feel right.

We spend our entire life looking for love. Happiness is everyone’s ultimate goal, regardless of what shape it takes. For some, happiness might be their dream car or house, while for others is the perfect spouse, or a trip around the world. We learn thorough our mistakes, who we really are, and what we really need in life. We’re not born knowing, we just find out as we go. We might start with an image in our mind of how it should be, and end up in a totally different place than the one we pictured for so long.

Not that long ago I had a talk with someone about relationships and I couldn’t help but notice a huge difference between relationships in the past vs relationships nowadays. When our grandparents were younger, everything had to be fixed, not changed, including relationships. They just aren’t programmed this way, and never threw away their love, feelings, past, and start all over again, with someone else. Getting married, was usually for life. Yes, the access to fast divorces wasn’t an option, but also, they never considered that in first place.

Nowadays, more and more dysfunctional relationships appear. And most of the time, we believe that’s how it’s supposed to be. We struggle to find happiness, but the last puzzle piece doesn’t fit perfectly. Still, we sometimes try to fix something which will never work or give up on the relationship at the first sign of it not going as planned. Even when it’s the right missing piece, we are programmed to throw our feelings away, put our pride and selfishness before the other person and our relationship, instead of working things out with our partner.

What’s the right feel?

Breakups are never easy. We all go through them at one point in our lives, and we all wish we wouldn’t have to deal with something like this ever again.  It’s painful, stressful, consuming, and leaves us with missing pieces of our hearts, every time we lose the partner which was, at one point, the love of our lives. We feel like it’s pointless to even look further for THE ONE, as the past one was the one, and now it’s only a stranger. And then we pick ourselves up, and move further, on the road to achieving happiness, looking somewhere else, and then somewhere else, and so on, until we think we found it, and then we start all over again.

Sometimes what ruins a relationship is the picture in our head of how we WANT it to be. The truth is it will never be the way we pictured it. When something involves more than just yourself, it will never be YOUR WAY. It will be a compromise between what both partners want. Having it your way and not considering your partner’s feelings, means you will end up breaking up over and over again. It will always be something different than what you had in mind, but the question is: how it’s supposed to feel like when it’s the right one for you?

Being stuck in a relationship which doesn’t make you happy isn’t only wrong, but is also useless. It will never keep you on the right track of your life. It will only bring you down, make you question yourself, your choices, your dreams and desires. You will end up in a place where you forget who you really are, what your passions are, and what you used to dream about, for your future.

When it feels right, your partner will bring out the best in you, will inspire you, support you in your wildest dreams, and bring an unexplained joy in your life. Like a missing puzzle piece, the right person will make the image ahead of you clearer. No matter how broken you are, you can see it clear; it finally comes back to you. You know who you are, you are motivated to follow your dreams, you are playful, happy, smiling for no reason, and eager to do more and be better at anything you do. You feel alive, and you two form a perfect team.

The one, will never ask you to change anything about yourself either, and will never let you lose track of who you are, and what really makes you happy. On the contrary. Both of you will blend into a perfect team, an unstoppable power, with the same destination in mind: happiness. And neither of you won’t let anything come between you and your goal.

The right person isn’t perfect. Not at all, but love knows no boundaries. Love knows nothing about social status, skin color, age, educational level, career path, looks, … Love just happens, in the weirdest way, with the strangest person. He/she has a lot of faults, like you also do, but it’s definitely perfect to you. There’s nothing you would change about him/her, and nothing better than their perfect imperfections make you any happier. You choose to be with them not wanting to alter anything, but to keep them as they are, in your mind and heart, just like in the first day you met.

Life is too short to bother with the wrong person. As harsh as it might sound, if someone doesn’t make you feel this way, it’s just not worth your time. You can’t waste the best years of your life, being unhappy, trying to change the person next to you, only to end up old and tired of what still doesn’t work. The perfect fit is never forced, it just works! Besides, its always better to be alone, than to feel alone next to the wrong person.

When you don’t want to lose a single moment of your life together, and when even your dreams seem less beautiful than reality is, then you know you’ve found the one. You will simply know. And when you finally do, hold them, cherish them, and don’t let them go. Love is very fragile and very breakable. Even with the right person for you, you should never take anything for granted, but constantly work on keeping the feelings alive.

Social media, movies, TV shows, tend to promote a very confusing image of how it’s supposed to feel. We are constantly bombarded with images of ‘perfect’ relationships which have nothing to do with real life. Life isn’t perfect, neither are relationships, but it’s all about learning how to dance in the rain. With the right person, anything is achievable and you feel like you can even move mountains (sure you could as well leave them where they are, if they don’t particularly bother you 🙂 ).

Real love doesn’t need to be advertised, doesn’t have to be on any social media, but should only be located deeply in our hearts. Our hearts will know when the right person is the one, and so will we. When it happens, you will finally know how it was supposed to feel, all along.


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